Child 4

6<-- When I woke up @ 1.45am to check on the boys Child 4 was wide awake and very talkative. His temperature was high, so I gave him some medicine. I rubbed his back for quite some time but found it difficult not to chat with him so not to stimulate him any more. (I just checked on him again and the temperature is down and still fast asleep). What a character he is. Last night KJ and Child 3 took Child 1 to a bishops youth council and he became scared and was crying, thinking that nobody big was there to watch him all the while Child 2, his older brother, was sitting on the couch under the same blanket. I walked in and quickly assured him that he was being watched over, that we would never leave him alone and that his older brother Child 2 was old enough to take care of him.
Good, Better, Best by Oaks is such a great talk and I am currently listening to it. I believe that my organization troubles need to be based 1st on this and the other things will fall into placed. My family is more important than all other distractions. Yes, I do have to support financially my family which I have done a horrible job of lately. Due to struggles with depression my family has suffered much hardship over the last four months but there is a light now at the end of the tunnel that I have been in and things are slowly turning around. Chao for now!

Jesus Christ

6<-- I had a great day today. I taught the lesson in Gospel Essentials class and will some great help and direction from the Spirit, experienced a classroom full of teary eyes all sharing something personally about Jesus Christ. What an experience words cannot describe it so I won't even try.
The opportunity to repent and be forgiven for our sins and then work hard to be better is the most miraculous gift ever given and I thank my Lord and Savior for such an infinite gift. No amount of money can pay for sins just the infinite sacrifice that He did so very long ago. Depression cannot have a hold on me and I cannot let it as the opposition is working so hard to destroy the families. Say a prayer and thank your Heavenly Father for this tests of all tests we call "Life" and that we can win if we can lean on each other and Him, of course. Chao for now.

6<-- How does an unorganized person become organized? I went inline skating this morning and it felt great. I tried jumping rope for 8 min. but only lasted 3 LOL. My mind is going faster and bouncing around. A difficult task but necessary to pick something and complete it till it is done. Chao for now!

All Good!!!

5-6 so far. No meds and I haven't felt better. Staying away from carbs is really tough for me. Work has been great both selling maintenance chemicals and delivering pizzas. Yes doing pizzas again. We did a crazy thing and shut off cable tv, so no tv in the F's house. It is kind of an experiment to see how much the family can accomplish and if we will really miss it. My bet is that things will run smoother, more will be accomplished and we will barely miss it. Maybe wishful thinking but it never hurts to try and see. Chao for now!

Nice and Steady

5-6 all week. All is good between 5 & 6, I met w/my therapist and after 4 sessions just gonna set a 6 wk apt to follow up & see how things have been going.

1 Week Of Training

After 45 days of being unemployed due to a depression episode w/ a company that I only work for 1 month I am working for a new company as an outside sales person.

Yes probably the worst job for someone prone to depression but it is great when I am HIGH (hypomania). I trained starting Monday the 7th of Jan with a trainer from Virginia. He is retiring @ 70 yrs old after working for the company for just 29 yrs. I also start back @ D's. I did the training this week also and tomorrow night start a store in our area. Remember when I was stabbed working for D's? Definitely a different city and area....LOL.

KJ is freaking cuz we are behind and survival mode is just about broken her. tears- She still loves me for some strange reason, still after 15 years! I keep on telling myself "You cannot park, if it gets bad.... like a 2-3 ..

ALL WEEK A GOOD STRONG 5.. NORMAL AND ENERGETIC @ TIMES.

I want you to watch this short talk and give me you opinion on the side bar-->

http://byubwmv.byu.edu/edweek/2005/CWrigley05.wmv

Chao for now!

Child 3

4&5's, I had the privilege of spending 30 min just walking and talking with Child 3. What an experience that will be with me forever. She is such a gift I cannot believe that my Heavenly Father placed her in our home. We talked about her best friends and how they treated her. She also was so excited to be further out of our neighborhood than she had ever been. The way she would look up at me with that gorgeous smile and trusting eyes just touched my heart and just gave me one more reason to dig in and be the best for her. Chao for now.

4's for the 31st and 1st.. I was busy on the 31st and on New Years Eve not so much... I did get to spend a little while driving around w/KJ and that coupled along with playing Toss Up, a dice game, with the entire family was the highlight of the day.

Organization is an area in which I have much room for growth. Planning every night before so that bouncing(allowing mania to rule) and drowning(allowing depression to rule) are not options. Life is too short to spend sitting in a vehicle parked somewhere with a virtual blanket on me keeping me down. This is my past not my future...Chao for now!

Gonna BBQ hamburgers for lunch or dinner today. One of Child 3's favorites. Last day b4 kids start back to school. What a blessing they are in my life.